We can’t do everything ... and that’s okay.
Is anyone else unnecessarily hard on themselves?
Recently, I know I have been. And I am working on it, but boy, has it been difficult.
In the past month and a half, a lot has transpired in my life. My husband and I bought a house, my father had surgery, I opened a small shop online, and… My daughter started walking! She was an early walker at 9 and a half months, and though we are all so incredibly excited about it, that also means I get very little done while she is up.
In the midst of all this, I have found myself trying to juggle a lot of new things and changes in my life, all the while trying to keep the constant flow at home. That means trying to make each meal, doing groceries, keeping the home clean, and being all caught up with laundry.
I thrive on a schedule and for as long as I can remember, I’ve had a ‘laundry day’, ‘grocery day’, ‘clean the bathroom’ day, etc. It sounds so simple, but it has always been important to me to stick to this routine, and now reflecting on it, I think that’s because I feel a sense of control over that aspect of my life and so it's been important to me for my routine to remain constant in this way.
Now all of a sudden, I have had a large load of laundry in the dryer for a couple of days waiting to be put away, I am lucky when I can make all three meals without having to step away (what feels like) a hundred times, and I can’t remember the last time that I sat down to rest.
My showers are rushed, days are short (but long all at once), and I miss my friends.
I get frustrated because somehow, I wish I could just do it all.
I wish I could continue working at being a good wife and mother, meanwhile being a great friend. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen many of them in months and we don’t get to talk regularly.
I wish I could have my house always clean, the laundry always done, the dishwasher always unloaded, and so on…
Then, someone said two things to me that will stick to me forever. I consider it a truth bomb:
1. My daughter is this small only once. I need to indulge in the mess and just enjoy her.
2. I cannot be everything to everyone. And I cannot do everything. All I need to do is do my best each day and focus on what is most important. I need to give myself grace for everything else.
I thought about these points, and continue to think about them, over and over. And they have helped me so much.
Yesterday, for the first time in over three years of marriage, I didn’t clean the entire living room and kitchen before I went to bed (which I have always done). It was really hard not to do it, but it was past midnight, and I knew I would be up with my daughter a couple of times before sunrise.
This might sound silly for some of you reading this, but cleaning the living room and kitchen has become my nightly ‘ritual’ as one may call it. I just love waking up to a clean home. But in the light of how my life has shifted, I know that this won’t always be possible.
I am actually writing this past midnight now, but you won’t see it until the day has begun anew. But I am choosing to be in this moment right now, because I think it’s important. It’s important for others, who may feel this way, to know they are not alone.
And it’s important for you and me to know that we can’t be everything to everyone. We can’t do everything either, and that’s okay.
We don’t need to do it all to gain God’s love. All He asks of us is to simply strive to be the best version of ourselves and to let Him step in where we are weak.
Now, time to head to bed and leave my daughter's toys on the floor for her to enjoy in the morning.
God bless you always,