Many of us know the famous quote by St Augustine: “our heart is restless until it rests in You”. I can easily replace “restless” with unhappy, and I am grateful to finally recognize this. As long as I depend on other things or other people to make me happy, my happiness goes through really low drops and really high highs... there is a lack of a consistent, healthy medium.
Enjoying new clothes and laughing with others is good for me, but what happens when they’re not there?
Things that I thought would make me truly happy include: being thin “enough”, have pretty clothes, being accepted by everyone, having high grades, being problem-free, having a boyfriend, being “enough”, having enough skills, having a lot of friends.
Some of these things will never be reached, like being thin “enough”. Some of these things do bring my happiness, but when they’re gone, I am very impacted.
When I seek “happiness”, what I am seeking for is peace and fulfilment. When my happiness depends on Christ, I believe this is when the exhausting journey towards fulfilment ends. It becomes an imperfect journey of growth and continuous intimacy, no longer exhausting.
Peace, happiness and fulfilment will be found inside. More specifically, I will find them in my relationship with Christ.