Only With Him
Sometimes, all the therapy in the world won't be enough. Sometimes, what we really need is to let Christ into our hearts.
When I was a teenager and into my early adulthood, I struggled with my mental health. I was very emotionally driven and quick to despair. After a series of challenging moments, I experienced depression on a heavy level. I felt defeated. The worst feeling was wanting to escape this life from the pain I was experiencing in my heart.
I did seek counselling, bereavement support groups, and even went to one therapy session with a psychologist. It ended at one session because it was a lot like talking to Dr. Phil for an hour, which wasn't exactly what I was looking for.
I kept looking and looking, wanting to escape this reality. I came to a point though, that I truly just felt like giving up. It was the darkest point of my life.
Writing about this makes me feel like this never was a reality in my life. It feels like a distant memory or dream that never actually happened.
But it did. And I made it through, being able to fully heal from the past experiences that led me there. How was this possible?
I experienced true healing when I found belonging in a young adult community, but even further, when I truly encountered Christ and the truths of the Catholic Church. I met joyful people that were on fire for the Lord and that left me wanting to learn more while desiring the joy that was so evident in their faces. (And as a side note, there is a difference between being happy and being joyful. Being happy is surface level and temporary, while joy beams through one's heart and becomes physically apparent in every way).
Christ gave us the Catholic Church so that we may live as whole, joyful men and women of God. The teachings are all oriented to help direct our lives to a fullness founded on the striving towards sainthood. It shifts our hearts from the earthly 'now' to 'eternity' and with that reorients our priorities, our beliefs, and our approach to life.
As I opened my heart to the Lord, I uncovered healing on a level that no amount of therapy could ever do for me. It healed the most wounded parts of my soul and helped me forgive all those that hurt me, let go of the past and all I was ashamed of, and instead, fill those voids in my heart with Christ and His love.
It's hard to really put into words what happens when we fully open up our hearts to the Lord, but I will say this:
If you are feeling defeated, frustrated, and without hope, give Him a chance in a way that you perhaps haven't yet. Let Him into those dark places in your heart (a great place to do this is at Eucharistic Adoration) and watch those dark places fill with the brightest light there is. Allow warmth, love, and truth to enter your heart and I promise you that you will experience healing like never before.
Journeying with you, Kasia