Healing is weird
Just yesterday something set me off and I felt myself really hurting. I cried… and cried… and cried some more. As I wiped snot off on my sweater, I tried to figure out why it hurt me so much. What this did was take me away from what I was experiencing and put unnecessary stress on me. I stopped trying to figure out the why and I instead allowed myself to fully experience whatever I needed to experience.
When I felt a little more serene, I was able to ask myself questions without them getting in the way of feeling my feelings. And still then I didn't quite understand why said thing had set me off so much. And you know what? That's okay. I know that with time, and with effort to stay close to Christ, I'll understand whatever I need to understand.
That took off so much pressure and it allowed me to just be in the moment and give myself what I needed.
As The Antidote shared in one of their recent Facebook posts: “Healing is weird. Some days you’re okay and you’re doing just fine. Other days it still hurts like it’s fresh. It’s a process with no definitive time frame. You just have to keep going and know that when all is said and done, you are going to be okay. –Unknown #ThingsToNeverForget"
In other words, healing isn't clean, isn't doesn't have a one-size-fits-and-fixes-all response. We all go to the same God to be restored, but He doesn't choose the same path for each of us... nor does He answer our questions when and how we want all of the time. It's okay to not have all of the responses.
It's okay to not know right this moment. Really be present in each moment of your day, observe, without criticizing, what and who is around you, and all that you feel. In this pressure-free, judgement-free process, whatever answer you need will be given to you as long as you stay close to Christ.