He says, “I thirst”
“When I went back to Church, I started to pray the rosary daily. It became an important part of my life.
In that process of coming back to the Catholic Church, my younger brother was living an immoral life, was lost and depressed. It was a really difficult time in his life. So, I decided to pray the 54 day rosary Novena for my brother’s conversion.
On the last day of the novena, my brother came into my room and said “Nadia, last night I had the most incredible experience. I had a vision of our Blessed Mother.” From that moment, my brother had a huge conversion and now his faith is so incredibly important to him.
Our Mother’s job is to constantly bring us back to her Son. I always have the rosary with me, because it reminds me that our mother is always walking with me.
I keep my rosary on my wrist as a daily reminder to pray the rosary. I always have it on me wherever I go, I have an opportunity to pray. Prayer, as Padre Pio says, is the oxygen of one’s soul.
Now, it has been 10 years that I have been in remission, and God has allowed our relationship to go even deeper because of what I went through. You see when you turn to God, He turns right back to you. On the Cross He says, “I thirst”, and He is thirsting for you. He desires you.
Once you get shaken up by something like cancer, you can’t ever go back. You have to keep going deeper in that relationship with God.
Everyone experiences desert moments or dryness in our faith. And even when it is hard to pray, we have to persist in prayer. As women, we cling to the emotional experience of our faith, the consolation or the joys that we experience. And sometimes God has to take that away from us, because He doesn’t want us to get attached to the “feeling”.
I am emotional and I love experiencing the consolation in prayer. But what I have to remember is that love is not a feeling, love is a choice, love is sacrifice and I have made the decision to love, despite my feelings.
When the Lord strips those feelings from you, you will go through pain, a dry and desert time, but in the end this will help to sanctify you. It is so beautiful because there is an answer to all of it. He is bringing us even deeper.
We can say, “Lord are you here? I’m not experiencing anything in my faith life. But He is there, He is always with you and He continues to give, even in those dry periods. He allows us to grow deeper in trust and love. He just doesn’t want us to be dependent on that feeling. He wants us to depend only on Him. He allows his words to run deep in our soul, I am with you always, to the end of the age”.