God works differently
Ok, I am totally aware of how difficult this is in reality so I'm not even going to try to pretend that I got things down packed or anywhere near there. I am also aware that not allowing God to take the wheel has brought unnecessary anxiety and stress into my heart, and I KNOW I'm not the only one.
When polish priest, Fr. Piotr Pawlukiewicz, was still here with us, among countless sermons, he gave a sermon on this very topic using a very insightful analogy. He explained that we treat God like a contractor whom we've hired to renovate our home (we can use "home" as anything or anyone in our life that we want to change). When God arrives at our home we give Him a list of things that need to be done, we tell Him how to we want it to look and then give Him a deadline.
What God does instead is ask for the keys to our home and for us to step aside.
Maybe we want our own healing process to speed up, maybe we want our mother's addiction to go away, maybe we are praying endlessly for a cousin's medical condition to be cured, maybe we want our son or daughter to get their life together already. These are all valid, and very reasonable desires. What would it look like if we decided to give over the keys to God? Would our hearts feel a little more peaceful? Perhaps our vision would expand as we learn to step back a little.
Whatever struggle you are facing, I am so sorry I know you never wanted this to happen. You never wanted things to be this way. And yet they are… But maybe, just maybe, our hearts could be a little lighter, a little happier, a little more loving, despite it all, just because we choose to trust.
Living, breathing, stumbling, grumbling, praising, growing, praying with you…