Do You Trust God With Your Trauma?
Do we trust God with our trauma?
Or do we hide our trauma from Him, storing it far away, in the inner deepest parts of our heart?
My experience has been the latter and it hasn’t been until recently that I have began facing this harsh, but sobering reality.
There are three defining moments of my life in which I experienced the most pain, the most betrayal, the most fear. These three defining moments of my life have been ones of despair, loneliness, and illusion of abandonment by God. One of these three defining moments for me have been the birth of my daughter. While simultaneously the most joyous due to her birth, I experienced serious complications that robbed me of a smooth transition into motherhood. The first week of my daughter’s life, I was unable to care for her the way I had prayed and hoped for.
As my husband and I look ahead in hopes of expanding our family further, I have been forced to confront that very moment, among other defining moments of my life in which I felt God had left me. Even as I write this, I am trying, with all my might, to seek where He was in the midst of the pain, suffering, uncertainty of that event and the year that followed.
I will admit, at first I shoved the entire event deep down into my heart, putting a bandaid over it without even attempting to ‘disinfect’ the wound.
Time would prove to rip the bandaid off, over and over, and I was left feeling angry at God.
Why me? Why didn’t you protect me, Lord?
And now, as I look at the very same wound I see that it has grown and can no longer face the depths. It is time that I take care of it and begin to (really) allow myself to start healing. It’s time to gather this wound and rid myself of all the ‘bandaids’ and face the Ultimate Healer; God.
Throughout my life, especially this past decade, I have learned that for me to experience authentic healing, I need to allow God into my heart and into areas of pain. The truth is, none of us enjoy facing the moments that have left us feeling the most hurt and despaired. I’ve felt the same way in the past and even now, feel the same way about this, too.
When it comes to trauma, we cannot downplay the fact that seeking professional help can be of great value and really help jumpstart our healing journey. Finding the right resources can give us the tools we need to overcome any feelings of fear, uncertainty, and can help empower us to pull through the struggles that come along with the process.
But when we talk about healing—real, deep, long-term healing—professionals often overlook one of the most important aspects: the healing of our souls.
Often, trauma creates a sense of distrust between us and God. Just like our parents here on earth, we expect for God to care for us and look after us in an even greater way. We are His children and when we feel that He has not done His job in protecting us, automatically the relationship can strain.
For some, it might be in a small way while for others it could become so significant that if they don’t face it, they lose their faith in Him.
So today, I invite you to explore this, with me as I ask again:
Do you trust God with your trauma? Or are you hiding it away from Him…and the world?
Perhaps it’s time to invite Him in to the parts of your heart you have been hiding away.
Over the next few weeks I will be sharing bits and pieces of this journey with you but in the meantime I leave you with the knowledge that you are not alone. Myself, and many others, are navigating and journeying with you, no matter what your experience or journey is like.
P.S. Here is a great article that can help: