Allowing yourself to tend to past wounds.
Sometimes the most excruciating part of distressing memories, are the messages that certain events leave us with, specifically when we take them on as truth. This degrading voice can sound like "you'll never measure up", "no one cares about you", "your feelings are not important", "no one will ever choose you" and other nasty lies. Read those last two words and take them in: nasty lies. We need to know and label these kinds of memos as lies, because, when we don't, we unconsciously live in them through how confident we feel, how vulnerable we allow ourselves to be, whether we chose or settle, and so on and so forth. We start to see our world through the lens of these lies and everything seems to confirm that they are true. We start feeling worse and worse and worse.
There is hope. It can look different than it does right now.
Sister, I am gently reminding us that we all deserve inner freedom; a peace that we can turn to when the world seems crazy. No amount of ignoring, repressing, minimizing the past will un-do the fact that those things really did happen... Our control lies in what we can change today, such as whether or not WE tend to our wounds, how WE see past events, and, most importantly, how WE view ourselves and God in light of it.
Sorting through these hurts, especially the rejection of lies, in a place where we have support, will really help us get to a place of serenity. Be kind to yourself, and listen to your body. This process will be hard and there will be no shortage of tears, but it will be worth it. We need to set ourselves free of lies and claim our identity in Christ. Sometimes we need trained professionals to guide us and provide a safe place for us, where we won't lose ourselves in these memories. If this is what you think may benefit you, give yourself this gift. I did.
Sister, do it for you